Men are made to protect, to lead, and to guide. The Lord created Adam and “put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it” (Genesis 2:15). Adam was meant to keep the garden safe, and to protect the animals and himself. God gave him one commandment, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die” (Genesis 2:16-17).
So God gives man the command to protect, and to follow God’s law. THEN God creates woman. “The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:17). God created woman from the side of man so that woman was under the strong arm of the man, always to be protected by him. This is what we are to look for in a husband, a man who will protect us. So why not Adam?
Adam was to keep Eve from evil, to guide her in the way of God’s commandment and to lead her on the right path. However, when Eve was tempted by the delicious fruit of the tree Adam stood by and watched. “The serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field” and he twisted the words of God and lead Eve astray. Adam should have spoken up and made clear the command of God. Eve was guilty of original sin just as much as Adam was, but Adam was created to guide and protect her. He failed, and Eve gave into the temptations of the serpent. She “saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise” and forgot the love of God. Adam did not take Eve under his arm and redirect her to the truth of God, but he instead watches her fall and takes the fruit from her “She took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate” (Genesis 3:3-6).
God calls for men to be courageous and speak up in defense of women. Our culture preaches the mantra “don’t judge me” and it has had an awful impact on men and women. Jesus tells us not judge others… and most people stop right there. However, Jesus warns us against judging others hypocritically. We are meant to call others out of sin “be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction” (2 Timothy 4). Yes, it is difficult to call another person out of sin, when we ourselves struggle so much. But Jesus says “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Mathew 18:15-17). We are meant to judge others, not in a proud condescending way, but in a way that guides and redirects them toward the saving mercy of God.
This is especially the case for Men and their relationship with women. Adam didn’t behave the way God created him to. Many men in our culture today model themselves after Adam. They don’t want to step on any toes, or make anyone feel bad. They don’t feel like it is their business to speak up, or they don’t want the person to feel talked down to. Unfortunately, these are not good excuses and Adam is not the model.
Adam sinned because he refused to speak up for the woman he loved. He didn’t warn Eve that she was walking on thin ice. He didn’t pull Eve aside and say, “I don’t think this is following God’s will for your life.” He sat by and watched as Eve sinned.
After the fall, God calls out to Adam. He does not address Eve first, because it was Adam who was the ruler and protector of the garden. When Adam asks if he ate from the tree, Adam immediately blames God for giving him the woman (a temptation that led him astray). When God asks Eve, eve blames the serpent. Adam and Eve both refuse to own their sin. Eve was created from Adams side to be protected by him, and when she stood in the face of great temptation Adam did nothing to stop her.
This reveals so much about why relationships work the way they do today. People in relationships blame each other, or external sources for their problems. Often times, no one wants to own up to the fact that the problem stems from themselves. This mind set goes hand in hand with the ‘don’t judge me’ culture. We don’t want to hold each other accountable. Women were created to be Man’s helper, and Man was created to be her protector. Our roles as men and woman reveal the need to speak out when our loved one is sinning.
When I am struggling with a sin the last thing I want is for someone to point it out and make me feel bad about it. However, if the person who is calling me out does so with the intention of leading me closer to holiness, then as much as it stings the exhortation and advice eventually sets in and helps me grow.
These are the kind of people we want to choose as our friends, but more importantly this is the quality we need to look for in a future husband. Women, you do not want a guy who lets you do whatever you want, does not speak up, and has no spine. It might be nice at first, but after a while you will be dissapointed by your lack of growth in the relatiosnhip. Men are meant to encourage wonmen to grow, not to let them be complacent with their lives.
Jesus Christ, the new Adam, models for Men and Woman how we should behave in the face of temptation. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him” (John 3:16-17). Jesus doesn’t make us feel awful or put us down for sinning, but he calls us out of our sin into grace. Men should be less like Adam and more liek Christ. A man shouldn’t be afraid to tell his grilfriend, wife, or sister that they are being led astray by the seprent. He should not be afraid to speak up and remind her of God’s law.